I Am Haunted By This Bridgerton Promo
Have the Irish not suffered enough??????
So there I was, minding my business and getting my ya-yas on Twitter dot com. When suddenly, I saw something that has haunted me ever since (roughly 12 hours).
If you don’t know (or don’t care which is also fine), the new season of Bridgerton will focus on Penelope (Irish Icon Nicola Coughlan) and Colin (some guy) (ugh fine his name is Luke Newton—but Colin really is just some fucking guy).
Famously, Nicola Coughlan is a stunning woman with a round face and huge…assets. She has said before that she doesn’t understand why people are so obsessed with her body, especially considering the fact that she was a UK size 10 (which is a US size 6!!!!!!) when she filmed the first season. She suffers from being a size 6 surrounded by size 0-2s, and therefore, people have labelled her a plus size queen when she is quite literally not. Now…..we can get into the whole thing about how different body types and distributions of body fat have an impact on how people are perceived in our violently fatphobic society etc etc etc……..BUT on a practical, empirical level, she is quite literally not plus-sized. And she has said she is exhausted by how people talk about her body so I gotta stop. NOW I’m not saying that her being on the show and being a hot woman with a round face might be comforting representation for some people (and I don’t begrudge her the lived experience of her body in an industry that puts an extreme value on youth and thinness). I don’t fault that. I fault the overarching system and Hollywood brain worms that make people think a size 6 woman is fat representation, instead of just presenting the diversity of different bodies at any size and the natural variations of human existence…..but I digress. I also have eyes and live in a society and I can appreciate that people on period dramas are usually all very lithe.
NOW TO THE EVIDENCE, YOUR HONOUR. You wonder why people are SO ABSOLUTELY INSANE………when the Netflix promo shot for the new season was edited like so:
On the left here you have the raw image, and on the right, the edited poster. I simply…………………………………………………………….
NOW WHY DID THEY DO THIS?!?!!?!? First of all, her looking directly into the mirror/camera is way fucking better and on brand for the plot. So that’s fucking stupid. Second, SMOOTHING THE ELBOW?! This is why people think Nicola is some revolutionary representation—because they literally smooth the elbows of size 6 women. I am tired. MOVING TO THE FACE………….I am aghast. I AM SIMPLY AGHAST. Where is her cute chin, what happened to her eyes, what is going ON with the facial expression, and what’s with the lip fillers!? HEY LORD, YOU KNOW, I’M TIRED.
Exhausted, truly. This is why people (as in society, not as in Nicola) latch on to shit like “mid-size” because it is impossible for people to grasp that people who are straight-sized (which simply means not plus-sized) also come in a variety of heights and shapes and fat distributions!!!! So they make up some new term to distance themselves from fatness instead of doing what would be more productive for any sort of body liberation, and simply saying, yes I wear straight-sizes…….bodies vary! WHAT A CONCEPT.
Anyways, we’re in hell and I am tired. Will I be watching this season? Yes, it is Nicola’s TIME and I want to see more Anthony/Kate being happy because I love romance and yearning, OKAY?!? Am I looking forward to seeing Colin? Absolutely not, I find him difficult to look at (derogatory). And it’s going to be a Whole Thing that he bravely finds Penelope attractive and, as I said, I am tired. Poor Colin having a hot woman with a heavy bosom be into him!!!!!! MOST OF US COULD ONLY HOPE TO BE SO LUCKY.
I leave you with these photos of this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VERY HOT WOMAN WHO IS HOT:
I also leave you with this op-ed from the Irish Icon, Fashion Queen, and All Around Talented Legend herself. She is also in a new Channel4 show called Big Mood. Imagine being so talented and stylish and funny….I know Colin can’t!!
I shall continue to be haunted by this, but alas, I have a dissertation on fat studies to write.