And Just Like That...Our Suffering Ends

I couldn't help but wonder, can an HBO budget buy style? Or just clothes?

Another season of the SATC reboot, And Just Like That, has come to an end. Over the course of 11 episodes, we saw Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), Che (Sara Ramirez), Lisa Todd Wexley (Nicole Ari Parker), Seema Patel (Sarita Choudhury), and Dr. Nya Wallace (Karen Pittman) experience relationships highs and lows, absolutely unhinged dialogue around Queerness, infuriating pregnancy plots, a phone call from Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall, filmed separately, so she never had to be in a situation for even an hour where she wasn’t enjoying herself), the introduction of Shoe Bradshaw—Carrie’s companion for the next Five Years of Waiting, and writing off Stanford in a way that ignites flames on the side of my face¹, all the while wearing outfits that range from chic to deranged (as is classic SATC). It was certainly 10 episodes of television.

Here are some of Season 2’s ensembles, scored based on whether they would be “Take” or “Toss” in the SATC Movie Closet Montage (and no I do NOT care whether they’re all Carrie’s or not!!! This newsletter isn’t canon!).

TOSS: Duvet for Me, Paolo
Corporate wants you to determine the difference between these two pictures:

TOSS: Aidan’s Fucking Jacket²
What exactly is this supposed to be??? It’s like that awful coat Luke Danes wears in Gilmore Girls no matter how cold it is. Has Aidan not suffered ENOUGH? Now he has to endure the indignity of this BELTED UTILITY JACKET? With flannel lining??? Anyways, it turns out this might be from John Corbett’s own closet and that he was allowed to keep the clothes he wore on the original show, which is an amazing scam to get nice clothes for free. It’s still a toss, though.

TAKE: Seema Patel
Listen, I could pick any photograph and it wouldn’t matter. Sarita Choudhury is SO STUNNING and they dress her in some great looks. Most of the time it’s a neutral toned colour palette with bold textures or patterns, and occasionally she busts out some colour and those looks are flawless too. If they don’t give Seema better writing I’m gonna scream!!!!!! Her and Lisa Todd Wexley are holding down the fashion AND the interest this season. Give them MORE in season 3!!! (Yes, this has been renewed for another season. It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me).

TOSS: Gumboot Stormtrooper
Idk why this show insists on Che dressing like this! Non-binary doesn’t mean non-stylish, but for some reason they have them in these government-issues pantaloons and gumboots? Why??????????? The show has made Che so deeply unlikeable and then dresses them like this………homophobic.

TAKE: Lisa Todd Wexley’s Preppy-Chic
LTW is one of the best styled characters on the show. (WHO ALSO DESERVES BETTER PLOT-LINES, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!). Her Louis V. jacket with white embroidered pants was DIVINE, although hard to find a good photo of. The scarf? The yellow bag? The bob?? TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE!!!!

TAKE: Mugler Catwoman
I don’t care if it’s unrealistic for Dr. Nya Wallace to have purchased a Mugler bodysuit on a professor’s salary. Idk what they pay her at Columbia! I also don’t care if this was for a Halloween costume!!! She still looks better than most characters in their regular clothes.

TOSS: It’s Only Okay When Rich People Wear it
If anybody else wore this outside, they would receive harsh glares, some under-the-breath comments, and maybe a wellness check. Why is her jacket like that one blanket from the 90s? You know the one. The layers here…the sweatpants that probably cost more than a normal person’s monthly salary….tucked into socks that probably cost more than my entire underwear drawer, and Gucci clogs. Absolutely not. I’ve had enough.

TAKE: Lisa Todd Winter
This woman is one of the most interesting characters on this reboot and yet the show treats her like trash by giving her a useless husband (who barely helps with their existing 3 children) and an expected pregnancy right when her documentary was given a 10-episode expansion. And do they let her get an abortion? No. She has a miscarriage. Because of course. But before all that, she had to be at an interview for her documentary and she braved the storm in this exceptionally chic and practical ensemble: head coverage and her wig safely in her hat box. Absolutely genius!

TOSS: Mad Hatter Met Ball
It is egregious to try and convince us that CHARLOTTE YORK GOLDENBLATT would wear this to what the show calls “The Met Ball”, the theme of which was Veiled Beauty. Now you might be thinking, well, she did use to ride horses so maybe there’s a nod to that here. And to that I say: get a grip on yourself. LOOK AT THIS OUTFIT. Maybe if the theme was Camp (which it always kind of is, but you know what I mean!!!).

TAKE: A True Veiled Beauty
Again, Lisa Todd Wexley is showing these ladies how its done AND making her useless husband carry her train while doing so. You just know Carrie wishes she had this headpiece instead of recycling her wedding look from when Big stood her up at the altar. Reduce, reuse, recycle….reject the idea that that dress was ever something Carrie could pull off. Vivienne Westwood deserves better!!!!!! And Lisa Todd Wexley deserves friends that are on her level!!!!! AND PLOT-LINES THAT ARE NOT JUST HER SUFFERING.

TAKE: The Only Good Thing Miranda Has Done In Two Seasons of this Show
Miranda had some great suits in SATC (where they should’ve just MADE HER GAY) and this was finally a step in the right direction. Too bad her behaviour remains deplorable!! A nice suit can’t hide THAT ugliness!!!³

TOSS: Carrie Dressing Like A Yassified Garbage Collector - NYC Pigeon Included
I present to the jury Exhibit A:

What are all the zippers for? Why the Fendi ANKLE BAG? Why wear thick socks with strappy heels when they make shoes that cover your feet entirely? Why did she pair THIS outfit with THAT bag??

I present to you Exhibit B:

Now let me be clear: I love pigeons. But that’s her purse. That’s her PURSE. Fans of the original series will remember an episode where B*g gives her a bejewelled bird purse and she HATES IT (which never made sense to me…based on her entire closet). But THIS is okay?! With THAT jumpsuit? Also, this pigeon bag costs $1,110 CAD.

In the words of Jenny from Forrest Gump: “dear god, make me a bird, so I can fly far—far far away from here”.

1. A MONK????? Be so fucking serious. Stanford would not do that and that was one of the worst photoshop jobs I’ve ever seen. That picture was scarier than baby Renesmee!!! This plot is on par with the way Grey’s Anatomy wrote off Karev (which I didn’t watch but I heard and read enough about to be enraged because he would NEVER). Apparently the lore of this plot is that Michael Patrick King visited some monks with SJP after Sex and the City The Movie: 2 was poorly received.

2. Maybe during The Five Years, this jacket will get lost.

3. I will say, though, that Che’s “comedy” set in the penultimate episode where she just shamed and made fun of Miranda was absolutely disgusting. It was both deeply UNFUNNY and cruel. Miranda is a pain in the ass but she didn’t deserve that. Nobody does! Samantha would’ve gone scorched earth in that comedy club, but since she’s not there, Miranda was stuck with Carrie, who did absolutely nothing.