The Beginning of the End
SATC Season 6(a): Episode 1
Well, pals, here we are. The beginning of the final season of Sex and the City. Which then…comes back in two movies….and a reboot. But you know. An ‘end’ of sorts. Season 6 has some tone shifts between 6a and 6b, but on the whole, I have a great fondness in my heart for it. I guess I say that every season? But this season makes me cry a lot more than the other seasons. So let’s get into it.
We open with a rushed Carrie — hair now a long bob because the passage of time. She says that in the city that never sleeps it’s a wonder when you manage to oversleep and then we get a Carrie “running” montage, but it’s like, you know, her style of heels running. She has some hurdles, including running into a bunch of dogs — and then grabs a cab to try and get downtown in 30 mins and has to eventually ditch her cab for THE SUBWAY, which these women never take. She’s so brave.
Carrie emerges, panting, at Wall Street Station, headed for the stock exchange. Once inside, she is beeping big time in security. But she is there to ring the bell so they let her pass. The New York Star (her paper) is going public so she’s there to open trading and press the button that makes the bell sound or whatever. She does, while making some signature SJP-as-Carrie cartoon expressions.
The next day, the gals are out for lunch in the Meat Packing District. Now they’re talking investments. Charlotte bought some of the New York Star stock. The menus come and it’s $20 for a hamburger which Miranda says is reasonable (in 2003?!), and then Sam is lamenting how The Meat Packing District has gotten all gentrified since she moved there (recall her initial interactions with this community……..). But to be clear she does not say the word “gentrification” ever.
Carrie then brings up her pending date with Berger. She’s very giddy about the whole thing. Charlotte says to find out the bottom line beforehand so she doesn’t end up in the same situation as her and Harry (the bottom line for him being Judaism).
Cut to: Charlotte and Harry are having dinner and he orders pork so she’s like wtf man you can’t marry me because I’m not Jewish but you can eat pork? And he’s like listen I am conservative not kosher. And then she’s like why did you even start this thing with me and he’s like oh I couldn’t not do it, and then calls himself a putz and how he never thought a shiksa goddess1 like her would fall for him. She says you’re not a putz, and he says “do you even know what that means?” and she says “Yeah, a schmuck”.
Miranda and Steve are hanging out with the baby and Miranda, while changing Brady, gets poop on her forehead and it drips down near her EYE and I start to panic because POOP IN THE EYE even though it is not real. They start playing around while Steve wipes it from her face, and then Steve says to Brady “tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy” and Miranda snaps and throws him out because of course this phrasing hit her where she lives. Then it’s another day, and Miranda knocks on Carrie’s door and when Carrie opens it’s Miranda and Brady and Miranda just says “I’m in love with Steve” and Carrie takes the baby and says “oh my god I can’t believe it”. Miranda his like oh you didn’t know? And Carrie is like oh girl we know but I’m just surprised YOU said it. Miranda is spiralling while Carrie is holding Brady and trying to find some kind of snack and they determine that Miranda has to ask Steve out on a date.
Later, we’re with Sam walking home “past her friendly neighbourhood bar the Ram Hole” and it’s a bunch of leather daddies. Carrie in VO says “she saw something truly disturbing” no not the men on a leash, but an UPCOMING POTTERY BARN. Then she sees a guy pull up in a hummer and go to her building and she says to the gays “just what we need another Wall Street asshole with money” but then she sees that he is ‘hot’ and goes to do flirting with him, usual Sam heavy-handed style (“I love a good hummer”).
Cut to: Charlotte and Harry are doing sex. As he’s about to climax she asks if the “Jewish thing” is that big a deal and he says no. In the morning, she tells him this and he’s like “I can’t remember my own name right before I come”. Turns out that Harry promised his mother he would marry a Jewish girl right before she died. Charlotte is like “I’m sorry she isn’t still with us because…” and Harry interrupts and is like “she’d fall in love with you like I did and not care?”. And Charlotte nods but Harry says no, tradition was important to her, she lost family in the Holocaust and Charlotte is like “well now I can’t say anything because you’ve brought up the Holocaust”. But it’s all in a very playful tone and is genuinely quite funny.
Carrie is at home and gets a call from Berger but she’s screening so she hears it all on the voicemail he is leaving detailing the plan for their date. Cut to: brunch with the gals and Carrie is THRILLED about the Berger stuff and very into it and then says she had a voicemail for another date that she turned down — and Charlotte is like, okay you gotta go on this other causal date because you’re putting TOO MUCH into this date with Berger it’s too much pressure, etc.
Carrie is back home doing her writing, comparing dating to the stock market, you get it: “when it comes to finance and dating, why do we keep investing?” Over at Miranda’s, (in VO Carrie says “speaking of high risk investments”) she goes to call Steve and has it all written out and she’s kinda awkward but she does it. She leaves the voicemail!!!
Sam brings a welcome basket to her ‘hot neighbour’. He answers the door in a towel (he was in the shower). She brought him a basket of cheese, prosciutto, condoms, handcuffs. He says “if I reach for that my towel will fall” and Sam says “I’m no fool”. So yeah they are doing sex and we have to see her give him a BJ and then say “that’s what I call eating in”. Then he gives her insider trading tips. LOL.
Later in the week, Carrie is having a little date with the graphic designer that had called her. He’s SO nervous and I feel bad and it goes terribly and I hate watching. In VO , Carrie says “it suddenly became clear that a sim-u-date for me was a first date for him”. AHHH CRINGE. A pigeon lands on him. He gets balsamic vinegar in his eye that has a sty. CAN I JUST FAST FORWARD?! Another pigeon comes. He falls off his chair. It’s too much.
Now Carrie is with Charlotte at Zabar’s. Carrie is like great now I am more nervous! And Charlotte is asking if Carrie knows that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for her husband and Carrie is like OHHHH really now??? But is ultimately complaining about her date anxiety.
Back home, Charlotte is telling Harry this same information. And not to get excited. And Harry says “okay then from a not excited place, I ask, is this something you might consider?” Then Charlotte is like, can you tell me what’s so special about Judaism, I need a reason other than your mother to relate to? And Harry says “if we were to get married...” And Charlotte looks all hopeful and he says “now don’t get excited I know we’re just trading information here” in a playful tone because it’s a callback to what just happened!!!! EEEEEP! Then he says “I would want our children to be raised jewish”. Charlotte, very emotional, says that she has some reproductive challenges and she should’ve brought it up sooner but she never thought they’d end up here and she understands if he….and he interrupts and is like, I love you, you’re the best thing to happen to me and she’s like but seriously I wouldn’t be able to give you children and he’s like “so we’ll adopt or something” and she says “but they wouldn’t be yours” and he goes “ehhhh, whaddyagonnado”. Charlotte is touched.
Sam is doing her neighbour again and the FBI busts in to arrest him for insider trading. Classic!
Over at Miranda and Steve’s date that he doesn’t know is a date, he says she looks pretty and asks if she has a date later. GAHHHH. She says she wants to talk about why she picked a fight, and he’s like “Miranda, I know you, I know why you picked a fight” and she says “you do?” And he says that he’s been hanging around too much and all that stuff but that he just started seeing somebody else and he’s not in love with her anymore. OOOUFFFF.
Cut to: Miranda and Carrie are having coffee and Carrie is wearing a bizarre ensemble that I hate so much and every time it drives me bonkers. Miranda is like, never bring this up to me again ever, and Carrie is like too bad I am talking — you should’ve told him anyways, this isn’t high school etc. Just then, Miranda spots Berger and Carrie panics that she isn’t in her date outfit and she literally runs away!!!
As she escapes, she runs into….AIDAN!!! Who is wearing a baby, because he has a baby. It’s a VERY CUTE baby. Turns out, he married another furniture designer. He asks if Carrie wants to come in and meet her (he’s waiting outside a store). He says they should get together and catch up and she says yes, but they both know it’s not gonna happen.
In VO, Carrie says there’s the type of date you can’t wait to keep and the type of date you both know you’ll never keep. A block later, she realized that if her and Aidan could have that big a crash (this is another investment allusion, get it????) and survive, there’s nothing that bad that could happen on a first date. She calls Berger from a payphone and is like I’m outside the theatre and there’s no lines, can you go now?? He’s like wow I’m in the neighbourhood! He shows up, also looking casual. They start doing their banter thing.
“And by close of Wall Street that day, NASDAQ was down, but amazingly, our stock was still up”. Okay…..
So there you have it. What a way to kick off season 6! Did I cry already? Yes absolutely. Buckle up for Blair Underwood (hot), Charlotte & Harry’s emotional journey, Smith Jerrod, and Mikhail Baryshnikov as Carrie’s Russian Lover aka my enemy.
TheLastFiveYearsOBCR.mp3
You are literally so funny, I was giggling out loud this entire time! Also wtf is up with those Bobby pins???